Relationships: Is The Fear Of Being Abandoned Causing You To Put Up With People Who Are Controlling?

There is a big difference between wanting to experience a sense of control over one’s life, and wanting to control other people. When one experiences a sense of control over their life, it means that they’re not going to feel as though they have no control and as though they are a victim.

This is going to allow one to feel empowered, as opposed to feeling as though things just happen and there is nothing they can do. As a result of this, their experience on this earth is going to be far more rewarding than if they were to feel completely powerless.

However, if one feels as though they have no control, it is going to be a challenge for them to enjoy life. What does or doesn’t happen in their life is going to be seen as something that is out of their control.

Controlling Behaviour

In fact, when one doesn’t feel as though they have any control in life, it can cause them to want to control other people. Controlling others is then a way for them to experience a sense of control.

But although it can look as though they want to control other people, controlling others is just a way for them to regulate how they feel. What they do to the people in their life is then a means to an end, and not something that is personal.


The people who come into contact with someone who is controlling are then going to find it hard to be themselves. This could mean that one is repelled by them or it could be something that draws them in.

If one is repelled by this kind of behaviour, it won’t be a problem, but if this is something that one is drawn to, it is going to affect their wellbeing. And even though the other person’s behaviour is impersonal, it won’t make any difference.


For some people, it doesn’t matter where they are in the world or how a relationship begins, as they will have a tendency to attract people who’re controlling. This is then something that is normal and therefore the rule, as opposed to the exception, in their life.

They might believe that everyone is the same and this could cause them to feel hopeless. One might be close to people who’re also in the same position and this could cause them to believe that everyone is the same.

Two Options

One could believe that they only have two options; the first option is to be in a relationship and to be controlled, and the other option is for them to avoid relationships. It then won’t matter what option they choose, as they’re likely to end up feeling frustrated.

This is not to say that there is anything wrong with not being in an intimate relationship, but if one is not having them to avoid being controlled, it is it naturally going to cause problems. Just as if one avoids relationships in general to stop themselves from being controlled, it is also going to lead to problems.


So, as the need to connect with other human beings is not something that one can completely remove, they could find themselves in a relationship with someone who is controlling. And even though they feel trapped and have the need to leave the relationship, they might feel as though it is not possible for them to leave.

In the back of their mind could be how they felt when they were not in an intimate relationship and this then causes them to stay with the other person. It is then painful for them to stay with them, but they believe that it will be even more painful if they were to leave them.

More Than A Belief

To stay that they believe it will be more painful for them to leave would be an understatement; as from their experiences of being alone, they will know how painful it is. And because of how painful it is for them to be alone, being around someone who is controlling is the lesser of two evils.

On one side they can be in a relationship and feel controlled, or they can leave the relationship and end up feeling abandoned. As an adult, it is not possible for another person to abandon them, but just because someone is physically an adult, it doesn’t mean they feel like one.


During ones early years, one didn’t have the ability to regulate their emotions; so if they were left by their caregiver/s, it would have felt like the end of the world and as though they were going to die. And though being neglected during these early moments in one’s life, it would have affected their ability to regulate their emotions as an adult.

Not only that, the pain that one experienced through being abandoned during their childhood would have stayed trapped in their body. As they were abandoned during these years, there wouldn’t have been anyone around to allow them to process how they were feeling and so, they would have had to disconnect from their body to avoid the pain.

And in order to avoid being abandoned, it would have set one up to do everything they can to please others. One could believe that if they had a voice of their own, it would cause other people to leave them.

Reliving The Past

So if one was to leave someone who is controlling, it would trigger this early pain. This could cause one to regress and to see the other person as they would have seen their caregiver at the time – as the only person who has the ability to take their pain away.

Leaving someone who is controlling is then what one wants to do on one level, but if they do leave them their emotional experiences of the past are going to re-appear. Based on this, it is easy to see why people stay in controlling relationships and go back to them.


All the time this emotional pain remains in one’s body, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to not only attract healthy relationships, but to feel comfortable with them. And along with feeling abandoned, one can also be carrying the following feelings in their body: grief, loss, hopelessness, helplessness, shame and death.

These emotional experiences of the past that have remained frozen in one’s body will need to be faced and released. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

October 27, 2014

Uncomplicated Updated Google Page 1 Guaranteed Plans – Updated

Are you presently struggling with endorsing your internet site and just getting a number of website visitors every day when you are blessed? You keep looking at the major search engines but your internet site is no place to be seen, not even on site ten of the results. At this time, page one on Google appears like an illusion. You may have tried out all the stuff advised in the community forums and also the major-shot Internet Marketing gurus, but practically nothing seems to work. Would you think that you were just simply being impatient at the beginning, the good news is several weeks have gone by and is particularly no far better? I know how you feel, I have got been what your location is now, in fact it is not much entertaining.

It really is seldom surprising that more than 90Percent newest Internet internet marketers fail inside the very first 3 months with the particular suggest that is usually bandied close to by the established internet marketers and so-called professionals. But you should not surrender just yet. I will share with you 3 ways you could start to get traffic to your web site instantly to see the advantages of your time and effort for many years.

Anyone lets you know about Article Promotion but nobody tells you how to make it happen properly so that your post is not going to get buried serious within the stack in addition to a huge number of other unread content. Should you do it appropriate, the articles you write will bring you fast visitors to your site and then do it for weeks or perhaps several years. The key that seldom any person will give you is that you should market your article. Which could appear to be backwards after it is your report that should really be advertising your site, yet it is true and so i will highlight how to make it happen.

You possess probably been advised to utilize Internet 2. to acquire visitors to your website but, in case you are like the majority of people, you may be not really sure what exactly that is certainly or the way you use it. Online 2. is truly a concept that holds how the new technology of Internet customers use the net. It generally revolves around running a blog (e.g. WordPress And Blogger), sociable datiqky92 (e.g. FaceBook), sociable bookmarking (e.g. StumbleUpon & Delicious), photograph sharing (e.g. Flickr) and online video expressing (e.g. YouTube). These are merely several types of the hundreds, or even 1000s of sociable/sharing sites and communities that now really exist with numerous active associates. Now you can see the potential for this big audience, but how will you draw on it? It is simple when you are aware how.

On-website SEO is usually talked downward as no more becoming essential and away-site SEO, that is generally about acquiring backlinks to the site, is emphasised as the main SEO exercise. Whilst it may be factual that backlinking normally attributes more to your search engine rankings, on-page optimisation really should not be neglected. With the proper use of market and keyword research and also on-webpage SEO it can be Google page 1 guaranteed.

The situation that a majority of men and women experience is intending to perform a bit of this and small amount of that with out the complete picture on the correct way to complete any kind of it. By centering on the aforementioned a few regions and learning to do them effectively, I promise it will not be lengthy prior to starting to find out the continuous supply of people to your site that only originates from receiving on page 1 from the Google google search results.

October 31, 2014

Compared – Practical Methods For Short Bridesmaid Dresses

Prom may be the single most important event in the secondary school girls’ life. It’s the most significant and the majority of intricate boogie she’ll participate in in the course of her high school graduation profession. And she’ll wish to appear her best although on the prom. More significant in comparison to the limo, more essential than her corsage, a lot more important compared to boy she complements, may be the gown she would wear. There are numerous types of prom dress stores from which to choose for this particular magical secondary school dancing, but one of the most well-liked choices may be the mermaid prom outfit.

The mermaid prom attire has a significant special form. The dress hugs against the chest all the way down on the knees or middle of the calf area. Then in the bottom, the dress instantly flares out, resembling the tail of a mermaid, that is the actual way it took its name.

The design of the backless evening dresses may be different in many ways. Light-weight fabric like silk or satin could be used to create a more reduce-installing look, inducing the gown to simply hug probably the most extreme curves of your body. When stiffer fabrics can be used to give a sultrier appearance since the dress will securely hug the shape in the entire body, attracting more focus to the remarkable shape of the gown and for that reason the girl’s shape.

The hem and style of the mermaid prom gown can also be modified to alter the complete seem from the gown. It might flare out in 61datftqky spots above the knee, at the leg, or underneath the knee for different results. The foot of the gown can even be modified by through the conventional all over flair either to a right behind only or even an in front only flair.

This is due to of your tight kind appropriate design which not everybody physique suits perfectly from the mermaid prom gown. It really is created particularly to hug and showcase every single process from the body. It is actually best donned by girls with thinner and sporting figures for a stylish look, or girls that are thin in the waistline but have specific contours they wish to display. Complete figured young girls are certainly not encouraged to put on this dress because it can have away from every bend, which include all those they’d quite not. Also, ladies who happen to be not comfortable shouldn’t use this attire, because it is snug and form appropriate and not every person is comfy displaying all the shape that the long chiffon bridesmaid dress features.

October 31, 2014

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