Relationships: Is The Fear Of Being Abandoned Causing You To Put Up With People Who Are Controlling?

There is a big difference between wanting to experience a sense of control over one’s life, and wanting to control other people. When one experiences a sense of control over their life, it means that they’re not going to feel as though they have no control and as though they are a victim.

This is going to allow one to feel empowered, as opposed to feeling as though things just happen and there is nothing they can do. As a result of this, their experience on this earth is going to be far more rewarding than if they were to feel completely powerless.

However, if one feels as though they have no control, it is going to be a challenge for them to enjoy life. What does or doesn’t happen in their life is going to be seen as something that is out of their control.

Controlling Behaviour

In fact, when one doesn’t feel as though they have any control in life, it can cause them to want to control other people. Controlling others is then a way for them to experience a sense of control.

But although it can look as though they want to control other people, controlling others is just a way for them to regulate how they feel. What they do to the people in their life is then a means to an end, and not something that is personal.


The people who come into contact with someone who is controlling are then going to find it hard to be themselves. This could mean that one is repelled by them or it could be something that draws them in.

If one is repelled by this kind of behaviour, it won’t be a problem, but if this is something that one is drawn to, it is going to affect their wellbeing. And even though the other person’s behaviour is impersonal, it won’t make any difference.


For some people, it doesn’t matter where they are in the world or how a relationship begins, as they will have a tendency to attract people who’re controlling. This is then something that is normal and therefore the rule, as opposed to the exception, in their life.

They might believe that everyone is the same and this could cause them to feel hopeless. One might be close to people who’re also in the same position and this could cause them to believe that everyone is the same.

Two Options

One could believe that they only have two options; the first option is to be in a relationship and to be controlled, and the other option is for them to avoid relationships. It then won’t matter what option they choose, as they’re likely to end up feeling frustrated.

This is not to say that there is anything wrong with not being in an intimate relationship, but if one is not having them to avoid being controlled, it is it naturally going to cause problems. Just as if one avoids relationships in general to stop themselves from being controlled, it is also going to lead to problems.


So, as the need to connect with other human beings is not something that one can completely remove, they could find themselves in a relationship with someone who is controlling. And even though they feel trapped and have the need to leave the relationship, they might feel as though it is not possible for them to leave.

In the back of their mind could be how they felt when they were not in an intimate relationship and this then causes them to stay with the other person. It is then painful for them to stay with them, but they believe that it will be even more painful if they were to leave them.

More Than A Belief

To stay that they believe it will be more painful for them to leave would be an understatement; as from their experiences of being alone, they will know how painful it is. And because of how painful it is for them to be alone, being around someone who is controlling is the lesser of two evils.

On one side they can be in a relationship and feel controlled, or they can leave the relationship and end up feeling abandoned. As an adult, it is not possible for another person to abandon them, but just because someone is physically an adult, it doesn’t mean they feel like one.


During ones early years, one didn’t have the ability to regulate their emotions; so if they were left by their caregiver/s, it would have felt like the end of the world and as though they were going to die. And though being neglected during these early moments in one’s life, it would have affected their ability to regulate their emotions as an adult.

Not only that, the pain that one experienced through being abandoned during their childhood would have stayed trapped in their body. As they were abandoned during these years, there wouldn’t have been anyone around to allow them to process how they were feeling and so, they would have had to disconnect from their body to avoid the pain.

And in order to avoid being abandoned, it would have set one up to do everything they can to please others. One could believe that if they had a voice of their own, it would cause other people to leave them.

Reliving The Past

So if one was to leave someone who is controlling, it would trigger this early pain. This could cause one to regress and to see the other person as they would have seen their caregiver at the time – as the only person who has the ability to take their pain away.

Leaving someone who is controlling is then what one wants to do on one level, but if they do leave them their emotional experiences of the past are going to re-appear. Based on this, it is easy to see why people stay in controlling relationships and go back to them.


All the time this emotional pain remains in one’s body, it is going to be more or less impossible for them to not only attract healthy relationships, but to feel comfortable with them. And along with feeling abandoned, one can also be carrying the following feelings in their body: grief, loss, hopelessness, helplessness, shame and death.

These emotional experiences of the past that have remained frozen in one’s body will need to be faced and released. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

October 27, 2014

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December 22, 2014

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December 22, 2014

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December 22, 2014

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December 22, 2014

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December 22, 2014

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December 22, 2014

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December 22, 2014

Going Green Lawn

Always utilize a grass collector once you minimize your yard. Don’t leave the extras to provide more nutrients to the soil. Should you abandon all that clippings on your own yard the entire period it’ll simply offer you more difficulties like weeds the next year.

Mowing will keep the yard green throughout every season. Once you trim the garden at the important top, it increases with greater health and stays green. Correct mowing helps the grass-roots to become strong. Powerful sources inturn helps in proper development of the grasses and makes them green.

Try not to permit your garden totally dry out between waterings. A sprinkler system, a good home made one, can definitely make this easier. If your yard, or areas of it, is without any sunshine, it’ll die. If your area of the lawn is deprived of most daylight due to branches or bushes try pruning hence the turf receives some daylight through the course of the afternoon.

Having said all this, it is vital that you draw out the truth that the achievement of one’s attempts will seriously depend on whether you’re going to maintain the struggle inside the long-run. In case you make the mistake to be short sighted about any of it, you may be sure that you will not attain considerably. The effects of s a cheap method, not only on you but many others, is a fact that has to be recognized. It can be challenging to cover all possible scenarios simply because there is so much concerned. But I wanted to pause for a moment so you can reflect on the importance of what you have just read. In light of all that is offered, and there is a lot, then this is a great time to be reading this. The last outstanding areas for conversation may be even more important.

Although we’re at it let us examine another probable problem standing between you along with a greener grass. Over-watering during persistent dry spells. If you’re responsible of doing that, you’re leaching valuable nutrients in the soil. Departing your turf starved for the food it needs to maintain it a maximum green. And causing you seeking still another solution that may reply your pursuit of HOWTO get a green garden.

Fertilize – should you have moss it is because your yard haven’t receive sufficient diet and so regular fertilizing is essential. When the heat is about 50 F (10 D) spread-out a lawn fertilizer. There are manure for all developing periods and you may read how frequently and just how much you should utilize in your yard. It is generally better to utilize a bit more expensive merchandise. You generally don’t have to fertilize that generally using a great solution.

It’s truly amazing what can occur whenever you get a number of celebrities behind a movement. Regardless of how it happens though it’s however best for mother planet. Green lawncare is not something new; it’s been with US for some time now. There are lots of ways to have a greener lawn which does not mean the colour of the turf, even though it too will take advantage of greener methods. There are a great number of items available on the market nowadays that it’s difficult to know where you can begin.

Green Lawn care isn’t a hard job. You should look after several issues. Green is the key shade of the lawn. You have to keep along with intact. For green lawncare you’ve to follow along with particular strategies and rules.

There, you’ll find ideas and hints to get the greenest, fullest lawn possible. You can also locate business packages, equipment and tools for the lawn care requirements, whether you are a homeowner, house manager, or fulltime lawncare professional.

December 22, 2014

Fundamental Aspects Of Custom Swim Caps Simplified

Fishing is undoubtedly an exciting and fun exercise that is also a good way of trying to keep healthy and fit. Equally grownups and kids can take advantage of it jointly. With a wide selection of speedo swim goggles, you will not only look nice but it will also help protect you while in the swimming pool area.

Present little ones in to the water and allow them to discover how to swim through the help of multi-colored left arm groups which will help to deliver buoyancy and make his/her confidence. Inflatable silicone wedding rings may also be excellent for learners. It provides assist to the hands and the body so it helps and also hardwearing . go over the water. Infant floats in numerous forms are essential for younger students, as well as swim drift fits for girls and boys. Plunge bands and leap stays can be found in bright hues and are an excellent way to encourage children to swim under water in order to get them – an excellent self-confidence-building contractor! Children will delight in fishing more once you give them games such as leap sticks and rings – they’re a wonderful way to learn and establish a child’s swimming ability.

Skating hats in different components can be obtained online which can be vital for safeguarding the hair. Silicon caps for adults and children can be found in distinct colors. Kids’ caps have exciting designs for example fish, sharks etc and the best way to make the kid stand out from the group. Swimming pool boots is made for help and comfort. Other custom swim caps for example bathroom towels in stunning models can be found online. Towels are essential to help keep on your own dry and then for a relaxing shower room datoqky25 an extended swim. A go swimming handbag, ideally a rucksack is essential when you are for any go swimming. Get a handbag which has a separate section to your humid towel and damp clothing. Area pockets and changeable bands can also be capabilities you ought to be aware of. Mesh totes and rucksacks are lighting and convenient to bring.

The swimming goggles you select is really a personal choice, nevertheless the things you use may also provide a much more pleasurable skating practical experience. There are numerous forms of going swimming goggles, from cheap and happy to quite expensive for anyone using going swimming and somewhat more really. Look out for such things as Anti-Fog coatings to avoid your goggles misting up middle of the-go swimming and tinted lenses if you are intending to utilize them in sunnier climes. Nasal area clips can also be a very beneficial go swimming item for many who suffer from water going up your nose – not wonderful for anybody who has experienced this afflict them, but very easy to correct! So also if you want to cease water going into your ears – hearing plugs may be found in various resources and various styles to ensure a strict suit to stop situations for example swimmers ears.

December 22, 2014

Good to Learn Reasons for Teeth Whitening

Teeth whitening has turned into a very important problem this times. A good smile with snow pearly white teeth can bring you actually useful benefits in your career or everyday life. But even if you clean your teeth frequently they are still planning to get somewhat yellow. Therefore anybody with permanent teeth, needs a teeth whitening approach from time to time. The chance of having yellow teeth increases in the event that you smoke a lot o-r consume a lot of coffee.

What you should know is that you shouldn’t panic if you notice that your teeth have spots. All you’ve got to accomplish would be to go to your frequently dentist for an oral test. He is the most readily useful qualified to advise you an excellent cosmetic dentistry means of teeth whitening. There are lots of other ways to recover your beautiful smile.

The most common way of teeth whitening is tried whitening toothpaste and using a proposed. Identify new info on the affiliated site by clicking That is also an excellent teeth maintenance method. Another teeth whitening item as you are able to use is a whitening solution or whitening strips. Coupled with a good bleaching toothpaste brings you good benefits.

Best way to manage yellow teeth is by lightening. Teeth could get orange stained, striped o-r molted from coffee, tobacco and food. Molted teeth o-r to much fluoride might not respond to even the bleaching treatment. This is a serious big teeth-whitening issue and the best way to resolve it is to ask your dentist for advice.

The periodontal illness is really a awful gum disease that lots of people have. I’d suggest you never to use any chemical teeth whitening techniques which could irritate your gums pretty bad. Also if you’ve tooth fillings which are colored, caps or bonding in your front teeth I would not recommend since you’ll not see any benefits you bleaching.

You can always take to some traditional mouth to mouth transmitted methods but the very best teeth bleaching practices will be the people suggested by your individual dentist..

December 22, 2014

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